This list is pretty freakin’ funny….please put all liquids down PRIOR to reading this list.  If you choose to keep drinking,k to blame me if your screen gets messy.
My favorites are in RED BOLD.

Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers

Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole

Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry

Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.

“Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day. – God.

God Doesn’t Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.

If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?

All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. ~ Edgar Allen Poe.

Viva La Evolución!

Actually, If You Look It Up, The Axial Tilt Is The Reason For The Season

I Wouldn’t Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist

Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.

People Who Don’t Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn’t Have Such Funny Beliefs

Jesus is Coming? Don’t Swallow That.

Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!

GOD – APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!

Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK

God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus

God Doesn’t Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.

When the Rapture Comes, We’ll Get Our Country Back!

Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic?
A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.

You Say “Heretic” Like It Was a BAD Thing

I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.

Science: It Works, Bitches.

“Intelligent Design” Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987

I Found God Between The Sheets

I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent

My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel

Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten

If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?

Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia

ALL Americans Are African Americans

I Forget – Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?

I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God

The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative

If we were made in his image, when why aren’t humans invisible too?

JESUS SAVES….You From Thinking For Yourself

How Can You Disbelieve in Evolution If You Can’t Even Define It?

Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made?
A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.

Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex

I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.

WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.

The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children

Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War

Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony

God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?

When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out. ~ Frank Sinatra.

No Gods. No Mullets.

Militant Atheists: We use words and reason, rather than bullets or planes!!!

Don’t pray in my school, and I won’t think in your church.

If God had intended me to go to church, he would have given me a bigger ass to sit on and a smaller brain to think with.

I went to the Creationism Museum and all I got was stupider.

Jesus has risen! Bake at 350 degrees 35 to 40 minutes.

Atheism is myth-understood

We’ve found the body. Easter canceled.

If we’re all God’s children, then what makes Jesus so special?

Militant Agnostic: I don’t know, AND NEITHER DO YOU!

I want Jesus to come inside me

Atheism isn’t a religion. It’s a personal relationship with reality.

I found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.

It’s your god, they’re YOUR rules, YOU burn in “hell”!

To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

God makes man in his own image. Many men are gay. That means god must be bisexual.

Personally it’s not God I dislike, it’s his fan club I can’t stand.

Darwin Athletic Club: Survival of the Fittest.

Thanks to THIS BLOG for posting it first!!